coffeewhen i was going down the hall i heard yelling coming from one of the classes. the special ed class. this one boy, who was like, 11, was yelling at the teacher and took his arm and swiped a bunch of papers on the floor. they started wrestling, but only for a few seconds. she got him down on the ground so he layed on his stomach. she put his hands behind his back and then put one of her legs on each side of him and sat over the upper part of his legs. so he layed face down with her holding his hands behind his back and she sat on his legs. i was really surprised. i thought he would be stronger than she is. i mean, he only looked my height though, and i’m 4’11. she’s a lot taller, maybe like 6 inches taller! he was cussing at her screaming for her to get off his legs and swearing he would get her off. he fought HARD. but he never could get her off. really he couldn’t move his legs at all. or get his hands free. so after like a couple minutes i guessed he gave up because he stopped trying to win against her and just put his head down on the floor and cried really hard. he was mad, i could tell. she looked and saw me watching in the window. she had this serious face and told me to keep going down the hall. i didn’t want to, but she said it again and watched me, so i had no choice. i don’t want what she did to him for her to do to me too! i mean, she isn’t fat at all, but she is much heavier than him, and me for sure. i saw what she did to him, and i didn’t want her to do that to me. but is she supposed to do something like that to him at all? what could he have done when she did that? i know i’m going to see him again, and i want to help him in case she does that to him. but what can i tell him to do?
Was that teacher my sister? Special Ed teachers who work in classrooms with kids who can be violent or destructive to themselves or others learn that and other types of restraint. They are designed to keep the kid from hurting themselves or others and basically immobilize them without pain until they calm down and regain control of their own bodies. It is never to be used as a punishment, it is used only when a kid is out of control and used to get them back under control of themselves. The punishment is always separate.
It’s not uncommon in some special ed classrooms, depending on the mix of difficulties the kids have. My sister teaches particularly rough kids, so it happens from time to time. Don’t mistake it for anger or punishment, she loves the kids and talks about them constantly. Restraint is never part of any system of punishment she or any other responsible teacher uses. In this case, it was most likely because of swiping the papers and general destruction in the classroom. The kid needed to regain his calm and control of his body and he needed to be physically prevented from continuing until he was able to do that.
The best thing you can do, if you are concerned about it, is talk to the principal about what you saw so they can help you understand it and if it was anything inappropriate, they can take appropriate action. The best thing you can do for the kid is to treat him like you would anyone else. Kids in special ed aren’t some separate being, they are just kids who happen to have certain needs that can’t be handled in a regular class. Maybe you have diabetes, maybe he has ADHD, either way, it’s something you work to control and it isn’t always easy.
The more normal you treat them, the more normal they feel and the easier it is for them to keep their behavior under control. Ultimately, they’re just kids like everyone else with good and bad qualities like you have. The reason he’s in special ed and the reason he was in restraints is not something that has any business being a part of your relationship with him. That’s why the teacher didn’t want you watching.